I had my first embarrassing experience with pregnancy last Sunday. I was sick for the first time in a trash can in front of the entrance to King Soopers next to the potted plants. As shoppers were purchasing their weekly groceries, I was upchucking the contents of one peanut butter granola bar for everyone to witness. I could not have made it the bathroom, even if I knew where it was within the store. It came on so suddenly. To add an artistic touch, I was wearing my Sunday best. We had just come from Church. Nice, huh. I was 13 weeks pregnant, never really had a problem with morning sickness, and suddenly my simple Sunday shopping turned into vomit...in a trash can...
I was mortified and disgusted. I sat in the car and waited for my husband to finish the shopping. I do not like this feeling of not being able to control what my body does. I'm not sick. I should not get sick. I have eaten nothing out of the ordinary. I was snacking between meals when I'm hungry, like I should. I was following all the "rules" and my body betrayed me. This feeling is worse than nausea. It is unsettling.
And of course everyone I talk to is like--oh, that's just pregnancy. This statement bothers me. I don't want everything I'm feeling to be linked to the state of being pregnant and hormones. I am not a person that is ruled by hormones. I never had "PMS" problems. The period came, it went, and I moved on. Whatever moods I felt, I attribute to being a person and having emotions, not to hormones. If I'm angry and it happens to fall in the cycle of the period, it is not because of hormones, it is because someone likely did something to piss me off. It's not like I don't ever get angry the other 21 days of the month. I feel like so much of that is b.s. So it is unsettling to me to believe that everything I feel, is now being attributed to pregnancy hormones. Where does the line end between what I'm feeling and what my pregnancy is doing? Oh, she forgot her sunglasses--pregnancy brain! Whatever, it's not like when I was not pregnant, I never forgot things. I'm more than just a pregnant woman. Maybe I felt nauseous because it was hot outside that Sunday. Because I had been kneeling in a hot Church. Because I then get into a hot car and drive...maybe this contributes to an upset stomach and not because my body is all out of whack. I haven't felt sick any other days.
So basically, Baby in my Tummy, maybe you are causing chaos on a typical Sunday, maybe you're not. Your mom is having issues with controlling her body right now. Maybe you'll help her overcome her control issues.
